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The stepfather gets a kiss when he drops the kids off, the stepmother rates only a half-hearted wave.There's no playbook for women who marry into stepmotherhood."Remarriage shatters a child's hope of [his parents'] reunion.As their hope slips away, children often begin a natural grieving process, one they could postpone when there was still a possibility that their parents would reunite," says Sue Patton Thoele, author of .

Read More Posted on 6/7/2011 A stepfamily by any other name is a family A journalist called me the other day wanting me to comment on the subject of the "stepfamily." I was raised in one, although it was not called a... His first marriage produced a child, but when he and his first wife divorced, he...

To take the pressure off the initial meeting, make it a quick hello and avoid long dinners or giving expensive gifts. Plan a short meeting -- you don't want an all-day affair," say Stan Wenck and Connie J. Anything that puts pressure on the child or that comes across as excessive may backfire and cause the potential stepparent to be rejected; no one wins in a meeting laden with expectations.

Over time, let the child set the pace of the relationship; when she's ready for a closer relationship, she'll let you know. If you're a stepparent entering into a marriage that was preceded by divorce between two living parents, give the stepchild time and space.

Read More Posted on 10/26/2010 Who should tell son of half-brother? Read More Posted on 10/19/2010 Ultra-lenient mom Q: Our 10-year-old daughter goes back and forth between our house and her mom's. Bio-Mom gives her everything she wants (TV and DVD in her...

Read More Posted on 1/12/2010 Stop lavish gifts from ex Q.

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